I often wander my apartment trying to decrease the clutter. Thinking if I just let go of items then I wouldn’t constantly deal with the mess.
Why do I still have this pair of shorts that I never wear? Why do I have my iPod touch that I never listen to?
Our society is all about consuming – food, content, items. And then it feels hard to let go.
What I realized recently is how connected letting go and loss are. When you think about those words without any narrative behind the two, they are really similar, but letting go feels like a choice and loss feels powerless.
Letting go: allow someone or something to escape or go free.
Loss: the fact or process of losing something or someone.
Often we don’t want to let go because we’re afraid of the feeling of loss.
If I get rid of this shirt, will I miss it? Will I ever find it again if I want it back?
If I decide to forgive that person, will I feel out of control or disoriented? Will releasing them from my life and energy feel better or worse?
Sometimes I go through life so afraid of loss that I hold myself back. Because in the present moment, I am not experiencing loss. In the present moment, I am safely sitting at my computer in my office.
But if I think about the moments I’ve experienced loss, it makes me hold on to things for dear life, try to control every little detail, keep things as safe and steady as possible.
It all comes back to survival. Will I survive letting this thing go? Will I survive losing this object? Will I survive the feelings that come with grief?
I was avoiding change for a very long time because of the fear of loss. I thought if I just kept everything the same and avoided moving forward, then I could be in control. Stay at the same job, stay at the same apartment, stay put.
But avoiding big changes causes another form of loss. Loss of opportunities. Loss of experiences. Loss of the good feelings that come with a new chapter.
MANTRA: I am letting go of my need to control. I am letting go of my need to be perfect. I am letting go of my need to avoid loss.
What are you letting go of? <3